It's a beautiful day, I received your letter. I like what you wrote to me. Your thoughts about our feelings are very important to me. I need to know this in order to understand ... understand you, learn more, better, deeper!
To begin with, I'm glad to see your words, glad that you understood me, and accepted what I told you. I accepted my feelings, what I think of you, and feel for you. This is not a joke, not a dream, not a game, and not empty words. This is reality. I have feelings for you, warm, and caring. I know what I'm telling you! And I can not be wrong. And I know that we have taken the first step, confessed to each other in sympathy and feelings. But I want you to understand that we do not need to hurry with this! Many more I need to know about you. And you have to decide a lot yourself, think about everything. And we both understand that the meeting is needed. But not now. No! I hope that you will understand and be patient.
I will not hide the fact that every letter will bring us closer to this moment, but in any case we still need time. We still have a lot to discuss and understand! Understand that for you these feelings, what do you want from this relationship? What do you value and how do you see our future? And of course I have to answer these questions for myself too, and you!
Say: "I love," especially to write in a letter, it is easy. For many, this is an empty word. Which only speaks of sympathy, and nothing more. But not for me. And therefore, I want you to understand, the most important thing is that you take this seriously. If you think that all this is just an online romance, flirt, and all this is virtual. That you are mistaken. This is reality, these are my real feelings. My confession. I opened to you not only my soul, life, opened my heart for you, and you should understand this.
Now it is very difficult for me to find words. There are so many thoughts in my head. So many questions for which I have no exact answer. Fear, joy, not confidence in their decisions. Feelings mixed in me, in my head. And I hardly try to understand everything. Find a solution. Understand the most important question, have I made a mistake again when, confessing my feelings to you ?!
Understand, you can write me beautiful words, I know that. But are you the man who will be next to me and will be happy to love me, to be there? Will my past, which I'm trying to forget, repeat? Will I again experience that pain, betrayal, disappointment? Will I be afraid again that you might hit me? No matter how hard I try to forget this, but all my past, past pain, it is not so easy to forget.
I beg you, do not be offended by my words, but I only tell you everything that I think I feel! You know what fear is when you are afraid that the past will happen again! You know it as much as I know. And you are afraid of it. Afraid that I can play with your feelings. I can break your heart. And so you must understand me. Understand my fears, because I understand yours. And by all means trying not to do anything that could cause you this pain. What could cause fear, fear me, love me!
I try to remove all bad thoughts, doubts, in my depths, “close” and not think about it again, ever. I have to believe you! Believe your words. because if I do not do this, I will not trust you, we will not be able to take further steps. And I want, I want to love you. You attract me to yourself like a magnet! And I will ask you only one question.
Will you hurt me when we are together?
I really hope that you won't hurt me. And I promise I will never hurt you.
Now I am finishing my letter. Now I will not think about anything except the fact that there is you in my life, and I am happy about it, I think this is the most important thing!
Maria